Four-legged vandals

My house looked gorgeous for the first time since I bought it nearly 10 years ago. I had applied a thin coat of stain about five years ago, but that had faded and the house looked worn. Adding to that were the holes left behind by marauding squirrels and birds looking to snuggle in along with us. After replacing a lot of cedar siding and caulking, two fresh coats of bright paint had the house the talk of the subdivision.
The job, now, was to keep it looking that way! Sure, power washing and general maintenance would do the job. But when I heard a scraping and tapping sound on the side of the house, I realized my castle was again under assault! I looked outside and spotted a grey squirrel pulling and gnawing in a fresh cedar board. He saw me at the same moment, and it scampered onto the roof and made a spectacular leap onto a tree branch. I thought the branch was too far to jump to or from; I was wrong!
I had tried catching the little grey critters before and taking them to the park at the other end of the subdivision. The problem was, the darn things always came back, or others took their place. Only one tactic gave me results that lasted several months – sniping with airguns.
I’m not talking about anything that shoots BBs. My silent weapon of choice is my ancient Sheridan Blue Streak air rifle in 5mm caliber. This particular rifle is well over 20 years old, and had some years on it when I bought it used more than 20 years ago. I can’t begin to count how many squirrels, rabbits and pests that have fallen from a well-placed shot from the Sheridan.
As a comparison, both my teenage sons have Daisy 880 pump air rifles that have taken several squirrels with well-aimed head shots. At 10 pumps, the rifles shoot a 7.9 grain lead pellet at a listed velocity of 675 feet per second (FPS). With 8 pumps in its reservoir, my Sheridan launches a 14.3 grain pellet at just over 700 fps for twice the energy. That coupled with the gun’s favorite pellet, the Beeman Crow Magnum hollow point, and I can easily harvest any squirrel with a head shot or a shot to the chest area. The hollow point eliminates over penetration, a major consideration when shooting in a suburban habitat.
Anyone who has hunted squirrels can tell you stories about the animal’s toughness and will to survive. Out of respect for these animals, it is important to use enough gun to kill them cleanly and prevent needless suffering. That is why my sons limit all their shots to head shots, as their smaller pellets do not impart enough energy and shock to cleanly kill a squirrel with a shot to the chest. The critter will die quickly with a hit to its heart and/or lungs, but often not before it can make its way to a den or other place inaccessible to people. A shot to the head puts the squirrel down in its tracks.
I have hunted enough squirrels to know that if I did not frighten this intruder very much, that he would sneak back pretty quickly to add another doorway to my house. I retreated inside and grabbed my Sheridan and 2 Crow Magnum pellets on the way to my youngest son’s bedroom.
I wanted two things for my ambush location; height and a backstop. Both were more important than getting an easy shot at the returning squirrel. Being in a subdivision, I wanted a downward shot, so if I missed, the pellet would bury itself in the soft dirt in the back yard. That’s the same reason I wanted my stockade fence between me and my neighbors – no stray pellets in other folk’s yards! Safety first!!
I cracked the window open and readied my rifle, pumping it eight times, and then closing the bolt on a Crow Magnum pellet when the squirrel came into view. It looked to be a large male as it leaped onto the deck railing. After pausing to gnaw on two of my bamboo tiki torches, the critter made its way along the wide railing towards my gas grill. Most folks don’t realize that squirrels are sometimes carnivorous, and will eat meat any chance they get. I have replaced gas lines on my grill after the grey vandals have chewed them to pieces. I braced the rifle on the window sill and planned to intercept this squirrel just before he got the grill. I could see flecks of fresh paint in his fur, confirming this one was trying to eat his way into my home.
Fate was with me today, and not with this squirrel as he chose to freeze at a spot I knew to be exactly 18 meters from the rifle’s muzzle. I lined up the sights and squeezed the trigger.
The pellet struck exactly where I had aimed it, between the squirrel’s eye and its ear. The squirrel slumped, then rolled off the railing onto the deck and was still.
I retrieved the squirrel, a male, and had it skinned and cleaned in minutes. Soon it was frozen, waiting to be joined with a few others to feed my family.
The home was safe once more, and I had reclaimed my place at the top of the food chain, providing food for my family. All was well with the world.